Remember it no more...

I miss the days of yore when a simple 'I'm sorry I took your crayon' fixed all. In those early days there were no grudges, for once those words 'I'm sorry' were spoken it was like a big eraser would come and it was remembered no more. The older I get, the harder it is for me to take the risk and make new friends because it means putting myself out-there again. If you've ever been betrayed in friendship, you know just how hard it is to trust again. Hind-sight is in fact 20/20. I can now look back at the most painful relationships in my life and can now see with clarity where things went wrong, but while in it - I just couldn't see it. Looking back, I can now see where I placed my trust in imperfect people. I now am able to see my part and my wrong - and that too is a jagged pill to swallow!

In ministry especially, it is easy to become hardened and cynical. Yet, the reality is we ALL make mistakes and fall short. I remember coming to this realization - that God still uses people who hurt us. We want justification, we want to hold our fist in the air like Jonah did in anger. We cry out to God and say...didn't you see that? He/She totally lied, or betrayed me etc. to which God responds "Have you any right to be angry?" Jonah 4:4.

Hmmmmm...do I have any 'right' to be angry. Am I perfect? Goodness no. Am I innocent from ever hurting others? Most definitely not. Does God still love me and choose to use me? Absolutely. So is it any wonder He is gracious with others? The answer is no. God chooses to use us as humans, knowing full well we are imperfect. Yet, the reality that He still works through us is humbling to say the least.

Since Gracie, my view of life in general has changed. I have learned that life is too short to hold on to anything too long. I want to be quick to forgive and I can tell you what a freeing feeling it is to truly release such pent up hurt and anger. I know there is wounding that goes far deeper than what I have described here, horrible realities of living in such a broken world. I don't want to sound flippant, and if you do have such a deep wounding I pray that God will show you how to release it to Him. I'm sure you have heard it said before that unforgiveness destroys the vessel that holds it. It is toxic, and forgiveness is the antidote. Does it mean we forgive and forget...hardly. No, we forgive and release ourselves from the toxin of hatred and unforgiveness and we do all that we can with the strength that only comes from God to remember it no more.

To remember the wrong against us no more, is what our Heavenly Father does for us. When we come to Him with a repentant heart, He is faithful and just to forgive us and remembers it no more. Oh to have more of His grace and compassion!