Friday, September 07, 2012

Stewards of the Story

I often think of my journey of Grace as a hidden treasure.  Most people don't know the pain we have walked through when they first meet us.  We have learned how to engage in today with a piece of our hearts already in heaven, the balance is easier some days than others, but we have been miraculously & beautifully mended.

I like to think that my story of Grace is a gift, a testimony of God's faithfulness and love.  I like to think of myself as a steward of this story/gift.  I know when I share about Grace and the beauty of her life that God is glorified and honored.  Speaking about Grace also makes my heart sing, it awakens the part of my heart that feels muted by her death.  I will always share her story and hope to be a faithful steward of this precious gift, the gift of Grace's life.

Today my sweet Olivia has a play date.  A cute little gal is over and they are gleefully playing Littlest Pet Shops.  I can hear them play..."here's what on the menu" & "sorry we late for dinner."  In between their play of animals I hear the following conversation.

Friend: "My mom has 4 kids."
Olivia: "My mom had 4 kids."
F:  "What do you mean?"
O: "Well my mom lost a baby in her tummy, but also Grace died"
F:  "Grace was your sister right?"
O:  "Yes she was my baby sister"
F:  "What did she look like, did you get to see her"
O:  "Oh yes we got to see her and hold her"
F:  "So did she look different?"
O: "Her eyes were always kinda squinty"
F: "So did you see her die?"
*At this point I wondered if I should intervene, but felt the Spirit say "trust me"
O: "No, she died at 1 in the morning I think, and I was sleeping"
F:  "Tell me everything that happened."
O:  "Well she looked like she was perfect"
F:  "Like she was sleeping right?"
O:  "No like she was perfect, nothing wrong with her!  Her eyes were open and she looked like she was all better"
F:  "Was she lying down?"
O:  "No my mom was holding her, cradling her and then she looked better then she just lay down"
F: "Then what?"
O: "My mom felt God"
F: "What?"
O:  " mom felt God"
 *There was silence here for a bit...
F: "Did you bury her in the backyard?"
O: "No we weren't allowed, we have to take a ferry to visit her grave"
F: "That's sad..."
F: "My friends cats died."
O: "Oh that is sad"
*And then they were back to playing with their animals!

Needless to say I was in tears and the lump in my throat was so big I could barely breathe, but I have never been so proud of my sweet girl.  My Olivia also has a story to share.  She too is a faithful steward of this precious gift of Grace.   She has also been beautifully mended through the pain of loss and has come through with such a deep understanding of life, love, and beauty in death.

Children are so pure in their thoughts and feelings!  I have learned so much about grief through watching Olivia and Isaiah.  They grieve hard, but then it's done.  They are able to feel the pain, and then move forward in peace.  I am so blessed by my children and am continually drawing from their example.  Funny isn't it?  You would think that as parents, you would be the one to do all the teaching, but what a wonder it is when the teacher becomes the student!

Thank you Jesus for entrusting us with Grace.  Thank you for beautifully mending my precious family and giving us a song in our heart that must be sung!  My heart's prayer is that we as a family will be found as good and faithful stewards of the amazing gift we have in our dear Gracie Grace!