As I walked away, I noticed the same dress in white. It was out of place on a different rack, most likely placed there by someone with a change of heart. Perhaps a white dress for a baby would prove to be daunting as it would no doubt become blemished within minutes on a toddler. I felt a familiar prompting in my spirit. I kept walking. I felt it again. I turned around. I slowly walked back and stared at it. I stood face to face with the pureness of it. The unblemished and perfectly white material drew me towards it. I wanted to turn around and leave. I did not want to hear what I was feeling God was saying to my heart. I heard, and perhaps more accurately, felt the words, "you need to buy this for her."
Mary had a lot of reasons to disobey, and flat out refuse the call on her life. She had to endure the initial shock of the angel, then had to try to wrap her head around the mysterious and frightening idea that she would be with child which I am sure led to the panic of what others would say about her, her family, and her betrothed. I am sure she feared her for her life. How do you explain to the one you are giving your life to such inexplicable news? I can't even begin to imagine the look of pain and betrayal in the eyes of Joseph (who we know loved her enough to want to divorce her in quiet - before he knew the truth from the angel himself). Ugh - talk about a stressful situation!
As I continued to cry out, again I felt His will, His voice gently saying "But child, I do understand. My son was blameless, my son was pure. He did nothing to deserve the penalty awaiting Him. He showed love, and embodied truth and grace. Yet, I gave Him up for you, for the world...for Grace. She will never have to experience true separation from me. She will never be out of my hand because of what MY pure and innocent son accomplished. He experienced true death, and separation from Me, so that our sweet little Gracie would never have to. I do understand, and promise to be your portion."
One month later, my sweet baby wore that dress. She was as white as snow, fautless and blameless, like a little lamb. She passed from this world into the next without a moment of separation. She was lifted from my arms into the strong and loving arms of her Shepherd. You see, she too knew His voice, and awoke to the loving nail scarred hands, stretching out for her. Like a little lamb, leaping into the Shepherd's embrace, she was lead home. She never experienced true death. Yes, she was separated from me, but thank you Jesus, she was never separated from her Shepherd.