I've been missing sweet Gracie quite a bit as of late. She's been occupying my thoughts, and her sweet face has been in my dreams the last few nights. I looked back in my journal and found what I wrote around this time last year. It still speaks truth to me today.
"Grief feels like the ocean to me. Full of memories good and bad. At times the water is calm, although there are many currents always flowing. Then, memories start to accumulate through various triggers (like wind - seeing the puraltor truck driver that used to deliver the medical supplies for Gracie) and the memories start to build - until they are a full fledged wave. Then you think for a moment or two that you can balance that wave...but then unannounced, it crests - crashes over and you are helpless to find your direction - tossing and turning - which way is up? And then, just when you feel like you will drown in the sorrow, the waters still, and you come up for air and catch your breath. You are relieved, and take a deep breath...and enjoy the calm, for you know it is only a matter of time before it all begins again."
I realize more and more than you can grieve many things...not just the loss of a loved one. Perhaps you are grieving a relationship, a lost job, a broken trust. If you have experienced loss, then you understand the concept of grief as an ocean. If you are feeling tossed by the uncontrollable waves of grief, I encourage you to remember that although we can't control how high the waves get, we do know the ONE who does. I will pray for you (and for me as well) that God will give you a safe place to stand in the midst of the chaos. That even though all around you may be pain and fear, that HE will bring peace to your heart as you draw closer to Him.
Psalm 107:28-30. Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.