The anticipation, the hype, the presents, and the day has gone and in it's absence is left a feeling not so 'red and green', but blue. The reality is that Christ's birth and gift of life and salvation is not saved for one day, so why do I feel so blue? I call it the post-Christmas let-down. Newton's third law of motion describes it as follows "for every action there is always and equal and opposite reaction." So as the high of Christmas ends, the pendulum then swings the other way and so comes the low. We over-eat and indulge, then we feel bad about ourselves. We don't exercise as there is no time between the holiday parties and rigorous schedules, leaving our bodies feeling exhausted. We spend too much money, then worry ourselves sick about it. We celebrate Christ's birth, but as we shelf the nativity and put away the tree, we also stuff away our devotion for another year.
Christmas this year was in some ways beautiful and special as it was our first Christmas in our new home and we also welcomed our new puppy, Lucy. She is such a sweetie and the joy she brings to our kids and to our home is wonderful. Spending time with family and celebrating the true meaning of Christmas was so beautiful. Yet, Christmas for me this year was also heart-wrenching as I missed my sweet baby Grace. The balance of enjoying the holidays, while trying to cope with the pain and loss is not an easy feat. I made it through the parties, the dinners, the stockings, and the gifts. With some cherished people, I could show my true emotions and feelings, and with others I put on the brave face. Some asked how I was, allowing me to share, cry and thus granting me the joy and freedom to feel the pain.
I don't want the pendulum of emotions to be stuck on the after-Christmas 'blues,' I want to look to the New Year with hope and renewed peace. I don't want to get stuck in the rut of the blues and blahs of January. The New Year is daunting as it brings with it Gracie's birthday and anniversary, yet it also brings joys unknown. I want to walk into this New Year with strength and be clothed in His grace. So today I am making a shift of heart and choosing not to dwell on the 'lows,' but rather am shifting my gaze upwards, to the only One who can take despair and transform it into joy; to the One who can balance the pendulum of extremities; to the One who can lift me from the blues and into the light. Lord, may I be able to look to tomorrow with joy in my step, hope in my heart, and a smile on my face.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Prov.31:26
1 comment:
Well cousin it is hard as you miss grace i miss elizabeth, and in this maybe something good can come. maybe the both of us will heal finally (for me 23 yrs) for you more recent but, it is something special we share and even after all this time i think of elizabeth everyday and i feel blessed that god gave me her for a very short time . Her brother, who is 21, feels exactly the same. he has visited her grave and i have cried, he has held me and gets a small taste of what we feel everyday.
love jane
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